Day 420...Year 2

I have no one to blame but myself...

I tried on my new costumes that I have to wear while I am in training this week and found that I will have to take them back and get larger sizes than I thought... I still have such a disconnect between what I see in my mind and what I see in the mirror...

I keep having these dreams, I guess, that there is a zipper at the base of my neck and I can unzip it and take off this fat suit I wear... But then I wake up and realize it isn't possible...That it isn't that easy...

This is my newest hurdle to jump... Not really new but most prominent... I have healed the inside and now, the clean up must continue... No more hiding behind the weight... It is time to show the world who I truly am and what I can do when I put my mind to it...

Love, peace and no one to blame...
Musicsongbird

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 649...Year 2 #RememberingCory

Tonight the TV show Glee memorialized Finn Hudson, who had been played by actor Cory Montieth, until his death this summer... I was a beautiful tribute to the character of Finn... The music was incredibly heart wrenching and I'm sure I am not alone when I say that I cried from the moment Mercedes' music began until the screen went to black at the end of the episode... I admire the writers of Glee for how they handled his passing, by not putting a name to it's cause; despite everyone knowing the actual cause of Cory's death... I know the cast were following their scripts, but I believe their emotions were true... The one thing I wish they would have played was a montage of Finn's character, perhaps with "Don't Stop Believing" as the background music... That was the song that started it all for the show and I believe it is the one everyone that is a fan remembers the most... This show allowed us as fans, a true opportunity to mourn Cory's pa
Read more

Day 159 of 366

Image
So, the phonelines are down at my house so no internet but thamlfully my phone is cooperating with me. so this may come as a shock to some but I started seeing an acupuncturists last week to help me with my sinus problems. I can hear some of the critics now saying I'm going against my beliefs but I believe it takes just as much space to trust in eastern medicine as it does in western medicine, besides I believe that God led me to a place that can finally help me feel better without having to take all of those medicines all the time. since december I have been to the doctor every month at least once a month for a sinus infection, in the past week I have slept so well and I am finally breathing better. I thank God everyday for bringing this place to my attention and for allowing me to trust this was the right move for me. what I am learning from this is that when you focus on taking care of 1 party your body many times it will also help another part of your body. just like when y
Read more

A new chapter

This has been an incredible year a half since I  began my bariatric journey and it is far from over...that is why it's a journey and not a race because there really is no end. Each day is about the choices we make and how they pan out. I will be the first to say that not all of my choices are correct but I try and learn from those decisions and move forward yet there are still lessons I have to go through over and over before it clicks. One of those being my love of food. You would think that bariatric surgery fixes that but the only thing that fix anything is making a decision to be better. All surgery does is makes your stomach smaller but even that cant fix your problems. Yes I have lost a tremendous amount of weight in a short time but I also had to decide to change how I eat. Yes, my tiny tummy talks to me and tells me what does and doesnt make it happy but if I choose not to listen and listen to my cravings, yes I still have them, I pay the price over and over.... Like
Read more