The 5oz Foodie

So tomorrow will bring me back around again... Over a year ago I started this journey and I made major changes to my health and diet and lived a strictly followed diet for months after my surgery and as I took the correct steps in adding things back into my diet, I also found myself slowly falling back into old bad habits... Not right away, but gradually... Now I am seeing those choices in the fact that I have been teetering and tottering between a 145 and 150 loss for over a few months and not budging with any further loss... After having a long conversation with myself and having a weekend where I spent entirely too much money on sugary treats... Sadly I even went as far as purchasing items at a bakery when I was actually full from a previous snack, I realized that I need to put a stop to this before I did some serious damage to myself and undue all of my hard work for nothing...  Yes, weight gain and carrying around the amount of body weight I had was partially due to ge...

Each day as my body changes, I am learning how my mind s changing as well... When you take yourself and your life for granted for so long because you feel like nothing you do makes your situation better, that when you finally take a leap of faith and things start getting better it puts a lot of things in perspective... Time is a big one for me... I realize even more so now after the year I have been through, of how important time is... Whether it is spending time with family or friends, spending time doing things you love...Or spending time doing for others, time is so important... For years I wasted so much time focusing on the negative that life started passing me by... I literally blinked and I went from being in High School to fast forward 26 years later... So much of that time I was unhappy and hiding within an ever growing shell of a human... I didn't know how to stop the destructive behavior... When I came to the realization that if I didn't do something drastic, I w...

Trying to settle in since the trip has been an adjustment... If you have never traveled overseas, it isn't just a cultural change, even though that was short, but the time change was really big for me for some reason... And now a week later I am finally feeling physically better, other than the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold... Now it's time to pay off the trip I just took all while facing holiday merriment that is coming our way in less than 2 months now... It's crazy to think that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away and Christmas is right behind it... If I had really planned I could have taken care of Christmas while in Paris, but that would have probably required buying another suitcase to bring stuff back in, instead of a cute shoulder bar with a zipper... So now the planning begins, usually by now I have a bunch of things done but this year I just don't know if I am up for it... Emotionally, mentally, I don't know if I want to go to all the ...

It's been sometime since my last post and I have like so many others screwed any resolutions I had made to myself so now it's just me being me again and back to where I started... Feeling a little more broken than before. Feeling tired, feeling defeated and just not sure which direction to go next... Don't worry, Mom knows what is going on... She is helping me with this new battle, we are fighting it together... We think we know what may be causing some of my issues, the cause of my present mental state and we are praying that path we are chosing is one that will lead us to the answers... Maybe even the answers to some other questions that I can share later on, but for now I ask for your Prayer and happy thoughts as I begin a quest if you will to get out of this fog I am currently drifting through... Some are probably thinking what is this all about? Well, for the past month or two I have just not been feeling like me... I have gained all of the weight back that I lost,...

I ran across this post today and it really hit close to home for me in so many ways... Well actually it spoke to the old me... The me before meds, before therapy, before the honesty with myself... I still have the depression diagnosis, but my suffering isn't what it was... There are still times I have tears for no reason... There is still times I can't explain what I am feeling, I just simply have no words... but if I pray for peace and focus on God's grace I know I can overcome those feelings of loneliness and sadness... For those that do not suffer from Depression you will never understand the darkness it causes... The pain and sadness you can feel...The absolute desperation of it all to just stop being so sad... This is probably why I try and live my life in such a positive way... Always smiling sharing love with everyone I meet... If I am always smiling and forcing the happy, I never have to feel the pain trying so desperately to bubble up from the depths... So ...