The 5oz Foodie

With all of the insanity of the TA and then no TA, this is the first time I have realized that I will survive if a new role takes me away from Epcot... Five years ago when I started, I never could have imagined considering going to work at the Magic Kingdom, but now the only thing that matters to me, is not where I will go but when I will go...  Taking my replacement around and introducing him to his new area today, made me realize how more I don't want to leave this role... How I want to be a part of the training journey by helping develop new trainers and being the encourager of the existing ones... Whether its in Merchandise or another line of business... Before I got off the bus at the Magic Kingdom tunnel yesterday, my tummy was flipping and I was anxious, because the fear of change was screaming loud in my head... However, as I walked down through the tunnel towards the training office where my meet and greet was, I realized that this was the first steps down a new pat

For someone that doesn't suffer from depression, they will never truly understand how you can go from being happy to sad in a matter of minutes, even when you are on medication... There wasn't anything anyone said or did, because depression doesn't work that way… For me it is a chemical imbalance and any shifts in diet or how I am physically feeling can cause a shift… Even though I have been through therapy, doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle from time to time… Some days I get up and I am sad and on the surface I have no idea why, there is probably an underlying reason, but I just can’t see it at the time and sometimes I never know even after the fact… I guess I am writing this because I am going through one of these roller coasters again tonight… Sometimes they just come out of nowhere, sometimes it happens after something disappoints me, but none the less it’s no fun… My only saving grace this evening is that a FB friend posted they were listening to the Gaithe

Another day is coming to an end... I put up the Christmas tree but that is as far as I got... As I was trying to figure out where and how I was going to plug in the lights, I was overwhelmed but a feeling of sadness and I just couldn't go forward... I turned off the lights, closed the door to the lanai and came inside... I don't know what the sadness was from but I know that the time I spent with my mom, just watching a cheesy Christmas movie was time well spent... Just like in the movie, you work to live you don't live to work because you only get one chance at the life you have and the grave is too late to apologize for time missed out... It doesn't matter how much money you have saved up for a "rainy day," what matters is that you have those people that matter the most to you, with you when that rainy day comes... love, peace and don't forget you umbrella... Musicsongbird

I had the opportunity to present a mini SIM class at one of our merchandise today and the Safety Manager for Epcot Merchandise and Entertainment was there. When we were finished I had the opportunity to speak with her, as this was our first meeting, and she very complimentary of my presentation. It was a nice pick me up. I didn't know what was going to come out of my mouth for this presentation. We weren't given a whole lot of direction on what the area wanted so I had to wing it, and I wasn't sure how I was coming across. Now that I have one day down the next two should be a piece of cake. And today I did something that I normally have a hard time doing... I said thank you, when I was complimented... baby steps... Love, peace and baby steps... Musicsongbird

I choose to be a victor... Life is full of unexpected twists and turns... We can chose to be a victim or a victor... Being a victor doesn't mean always succeeding in what you try, it means trying to begin with... If we never try something we won't know if it is possible... If I had not taken the step to moving down to Florida, I never would be working for my dream company...  So many people I know have missed out on amazing opportunities because of fear of failure... I have had so many people apologize to me lately about my TA ending, but there is no reason to be sorry... I have done what I set out to do when I got this TA. To change the mind of the area, on how they felt about our training team... When situations happen before you are involved and it makes it difficult to see a positive future and everyone is watching to see what you are going to do to make things better, you can do one of two things... You can blame the person before you for what they did and focus

The smell of Christmas is in the air... I spent the afternoon putting up our outside Christmas display and it is almost complete... I love this time of year, not just because it is celebrating Christs birth, but it's the time of year when people young and old make an effort to be nicer to others and to do more for others less fortunate... It's a little sad that people don't do more all year round but at least they make an effort during the Christmas holiday season... At work I have the pleasure of heading up our toy collection in the trailer for Toys for Tots... So far the box is pretty empty, but I am hoping that people added a few toys to the black Friday purchases and are bringing them in this week... I am vowing to not go out to eat for lunch for the next two weeks so I can purchase a few new and unwrapped toys to donate... If everyone in our trailer brought in just 1 toy, including our core teams, we would collect over 37 toys... That would be amazing! Let's al

Another end to a magical week... Preparing for the transition back to my Core Trainer life in two weeks... I am so glad it is my weekend... Really looking forward to relaxing a bit and putting up the Christmas decorations!!!! The count down has begun... Love, peace and say no to things fried in grease... Musicsongbird

I started feeling a little introspective this evening... I went and saw the amazing Holiday edition of Illuminations with my BFF... It was very reminiscent of one of our first trips to WDW over 12 years ago...I have come so far in that time and I have over come so many things to get where I am now... As we were driving home I was trying to explain to him, the emotions I feel often.... I'm not saying I don't feel happy or sad, but very often I feel hollow... In this past year I have uncovered so many things about my past and unleashed it all and emotionally and mentally withdrew it from my core... When you have that much fear and hate trapped inside you for so long, it leaves a huge hole when it's gone... Now it needs to be refilled with most importantly, God's love, but also with love for myself and a feeling of safety and well being...Once a survivor, always a survivor... I can't go back and change what happened... Look what happened when Marty McFly went back

What a magically fun day... My Co-workers came together and had an impromptu breakfast, seeing Santa arrive at Macy's to kick off the holiday, 99 cent turkey dinner, a cast preview trip on the newly reimagined Test Track and then an amazing Thanksgiving Dinner at my BFF's with Mom. I am so thankful that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and for my Mom and her being here with me, and for BFF being here to take care of us and for my wonderful family. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have experienced since moving here and I know this TA is just the beginning. Even though it is ending in a little over 2 weeks, I know I have learned a lot of things that are going to help me in my next TA, when it comes. I am focused and I am ready... The coolest thing that has happened since I found out that my TA is ending, is that some of my current co-workers are genuinely sad that this TA is ending. Love, peace and Big things are coming... Musicsongbird

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the US. It is so interesting to have cast members and friends from the other side of the world and watch them as they experience this holiday that means nothing to them like it does for us. But what does it really mean for us? Is it a day for giving thanks for our families? yes Is it a day we celebrate because the Pilgrims and Indians had a dinner together? yes, that's what we learned in Elementary School and from Charlie Brown and Snoopy... But why are we giving thanks? Well, I believe we should be giving thanks every day for our families and friends and everything we have... But Thanksgiving is in memory of the ones that risked their lives to escape the religious tyranny of the King of England and their survival in the new country... So, as we give thanks around the dinner table tomorrow, remember those that crossed the Ocean all of those years ago, so that we might be free... Love, peace and I am thankful... Musicsongbird

We are just days away from the kick off to the Christmas Holiday season... Black Friday!!! It's sad that the largest shopping day of the year has become more important than giving thanks for the life and freedoms we have... I remember growing up and there being Blue Laws... Basically blue laws kept everything running Monday through Saturday, so that we all could rest on Sunday... The idea was that you stay home and spend time with your family... Now days, families rarely sit down to have a meal together... The thing that saddens me most this year, is that all of these shopping places are open on Thanksgiving, so once again family time is avoided... Mom said she wishes I was off Friday so we could go somewhere at Midnight... So I asked her, where would we go? She said, I don't know? What would we buy? I guess nothing, she replied. We have already finished our Christmas shopping... So instead of me taking off for us to go no where at Midnight Thursday, we worked together to

We are just 41 days from the end of the year and I am already thinking about what will become of my blog in the new year... Will it roll into the new year and continue the path it is on, or will it evolve into something more? Or maybe it will end all together... I admit there are nights that I just don't want to write or I don't really know what I have in me to write... Something important I have learned this year is that even though I say this blog is for me and my feelings and my beliefs; people that read think I should be mindful of what I write, that if it isn't a topic that everyone would agree with, that I shouldn't write about it... Well guess what? It's my blog and I will write what is on my heart and my mind and if someone doesn't agree with it, who asked you to read it? The other thing I learned is that, people must think really highly about themselves... Why do I say that? Because I have had people get upset with me, because they believe that I

Some nights it is just night to sit and listen to the quiet of the evening...Turn off the TV, turn off the noise of the day...My mind has calmed down some from this past week... So much to take in and try and figure out... I am definitely more accepting of what has happened with my job, each day gets easier to look forward toward the next opportunity... It is hard knowing I will going back to being a Core but by the end of the three weeks, I am sure I will be fine... I would be lying to everyone else and myself if I said I am not as passionate about the actual training piece as I once was, but I believe it will revive itself when the time comes... I do know for a fact that I love being a COT, so choosing this path at Disney is the right one... I am glad to know I won't have to wait another 3 years to hit a list... Now it's just a matter of being patient and waiting for the opportunity to arise and present itself... I had one of my trainers send me an email and she told me i

Yesterday I found out that my TA as a COT is coming to an end. My predecessor has been reinstated and will beginning their new role tomorrow at one of the resorts and the person that was in that position will be coming to Epcot. I have three more weeks before I return to the wonderful world of Core Training. It has been an amazing 2 month learning experience that I am sad to see end. Thankfully I won't be leaving Epcot,since it is my home and thankfully I will still be working with my area, just on the training level. I assure d them that I would still stay on top of what is happening in the area. My training team in the area is sad to see me go, but I believe they are all hoping that another opportunity comes my way. In a perfect world it would be returning to them as their COT and I won't say that isn't possible, because, Praise God, nothing is impossible. So, for the next three weeks I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability and pray that my next opportu

Sometimes we are put through things in life, not to punish us, but to help us grow... I know the trails of this past year have helped me to grow into the person I am now... My BFF tells me on a pretty regular basis how proud he is of me for going through what I have gone through and he has seen me grow and change... It's nice to hear that he is supporting me and he can see a difference in me...Sometimes the person that has the hardest time seeing changes in me is myself... That's why I am glad that I can look back on my blog throughout this past year and remind myself that I have come a long way... Are there going to be times in the future that I am down or I want to run and hide like in the past? Of course there are, but maybe the pain won't get carried beyond that time like it has in the past... There are many people that are in my life that I think would benefit from writing down their own feelings, not necessarily in a blog like I have done but in a journal, so they

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!!!! The weather has taken a turn for the cooler temperatures today... 63 brrrrrr....  It was one of those days that's kinda blah and over cast, sprinkles hanging on throughout and you just want to curl up with your warm blanket on the couch, have a nice spot of tea or hot cocoa and maybe take a little nap with the cats... But I didn't get to do any of that...Instead I got to have an adventure at my favorite job in the world... I dared to go where only CP's and ICP's dare to go...Vista Way...and I lived to tell about it... Actually I was a part of the team that welcomed the new International College Program arrivals from Brazil! It was really fun and quite exciting for me... This is what be with training is all about! Getting to greet those first cast members that are coming through our doors and let them know we are one big happy dysfunctional family here! Love, peace and share the love... Musicsongbird

I have been sitting playing some mindless game on FB, wiping away tears, trying to decide in my head home I am going to write how I am feeling right now... Hurt is definitely the big one... Used is another one... unappreciated is the other one... For the past two years I have helped on a major event and for the past two years I was forgotten when the rest of the team was recognized for it... yes last year I received a "special" certificate made by the team but I still wasn't a part of the rest of the festivities that followed the end of the event. It really makes you think twice about the next time you are asked to help with something... I was OK until another co-worker asked where I was this afternoon and I said I was at my desk... They said, "You weren't at the event?" and I said "I wasn't invited." She was shocked and my hurt became real and all I could do was fake a smile when some of the team walked into the room immediately following

There is nothing better than getting together with good friends and having a laugh filled dinner. Our current team has been a strong ten for over a year and now three of us have found positions that are moving us out of our Core team, myself to a COT role, Baby Boy to a leadership role and now Mama V to concierge... It is sad and sometimes scary to move on but the best thing is nothing will change our friendship... I wish nothing but the best for each and every member of my core family... We learn something new from each road we take in life and from each person we meet along the way... Some are there for direction and some are there until the journey ends... Love, peace and enjoy the journey... Musicsongbird

The count down to Christmas has begun. We have watched four Lifetime Christmas Movies, so I am really getting in the Christmas Spirit. Yesterday I helped Mom touch up on the Snow Family my dad made back when I was in High School. There is a little Snow person representing three of my nieces and nephews, One representing me (Squirt Frosty), one representing my dad and one representing my Mom. They bring back great memories... That's another great part of the holidays, reminiscing and spending time with the ones you love and making new memories... Love, peace and let the Holidays begin.... Musicsongbird

Today we recognize our Veteran's and we give thanks to them... Love your country and live with pride And don't forget those who died America can't you see All gave some and some gave all And some stood through for the red, white and blue And some had to fall And if you ever think of me Think of all your liberties and recall Some gave all -Billy Ray Cyrus We must never forget...This Saturday we celebrated 237 years of the US Marine Core...We must never forget... On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, the German's signed the Armistice, ending World War 1. One year later, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11, 1919, a Holiday, celebrated as Armistice Day. On June 1, 1954, the Holiday was renamed Veteran's Day by Congress, and this is the holiday we celebrate today.  Tonight we watched a special about Veteran's Day and I learned something that I will carry forward. After every war the men and women are welcomed home with arms

I did it!!!! I completed my first 5K! It was so fun. I couldn't have done it without my sponsor (you know who you are) and my walking partner, Vicki, we were able to complete the course in 49 minutes, our time from the starting line, 1:01 hours from the actual start of the race. I have to say the first mile was the hardest, but once we saw that first mile marker we were cruising. When people say Run Disney does it best, they weren't kidding. Along the route there were characters like, Baloo and Santa Goofy, Parade performers and petting zoo animals... It was fun to see Animal Kingdom from a different perspective... I am already thinking about the next one, but I did learn some important things for the next time... I need to drink lots of water leading up to the race, even when it's cold you can still still get dehydrated, so water will travel with me... Walking is fun and I need to do it more, even if the weather is less than ideal... I wish I could say I was great

Tomorrow morning is my first 5K and I am not nervous, I am actually pretty excited to get to tackle this... I will be running, lol just kidding I will be quickly walking along side one of my friends, with my Mom waiting for us at the finish line cheering us all of the way... I will do my best no matter what, no matter how cold it may be, we are going to keep pluggin along... well, my pillow is calling... Love, peace and on your mark get set... Musicsongbird

When it feels like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in the end and hang on... God didn't promise us life would be easy, but He did promise He would be there every step of the way... Right now I feel like I am at the end of my rope with Belle (my oldest cat)... She is not happy with the rest of the cats being here and she is letting me know by pooping everywhere but her litter box...I have tried everything short of getting rid of the other cats... I am trying to spend more time with her, but the minute I am gone she is acting like she has never met a litter box in her life... I am too tired to think about all of this now, I just want to sleep... I pray it will all be better tomorrow and I pray she doesn't poop on the bed in the middle of the night...again... Love, peace and a poop free night... Musicsongbird

Some times in life when everything is overwhelming and it seems like everyone is standing there with their hand out either wanting your money or your time or both, all you can do is stop... take a breath.... and trust that God will see you through... When the world feels like it is crashing down around you... stop... take a breath.... and trust that God will see you through... When things don't go your way...friends disappoint you...you get passed over for a promotion... your cat poops on your bed (again) and (again)...stop... take a breath.... and trust that God will see you through... Proverbs 3:5-6 , “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths .” Love, peace and Trust that God will see you through... Musicsongbird

What a crazy year this has been and it isn't over until the last vote is counted... I have something to admit and I can't believe I am say it, but after voting in my 6th Presidential Election I think it is time to say it... This is the first time I feel completely confident in who I voted for... I even watched one of the debates, which i never would have done in the past... I have learned another important thing this year... I am far from keeping myself well informed of things around our world... If the media would chill on things, I believe more people would be more educated about who or what they are voting for or against... Most people rely strictly on the political ads or which party the person is a member for their "knowledge" on the candidates, instead of looking at what the person has done... What they stand for, if they were in the position before or a similar one then what they did for us to make our country better... If I am going to vote then I can't

What's the difference between needing and wanting... So often we say things like I so need a drink, I need a hug, I need chocolate... When we use the phrase need it's a very emotion filled request... It is filling a hole or a gap in our lives... When we say we want something, we may not have a rational explanation for wanting it or we will have a very definite reason for wanting it... I want the report on my desk by 5... I want pizza for dinner... So the big question remains.... Do we always want what we need and do we always need what we want... Love, peace and finding a happy medium... Musicsongbird

For the past two Sundays, Mom and I have tuned into the OWN network and have watched Oprah's life classes with Pastor Joel Olsteen.  I don't know much about the Olsteen's other than their church being a mega-church but I will tell you this... Mom and I have both gotten something out of what he and Oprah were discussing. Tonight they spoke about Dreaming Big and it must be a God thing totally because this week, one of my e-learning's I had to complete was about making goals and how to attain them. Many of the things people wrote in about on the Life Class really hit home for me... So very often I get into these negative thought patterns about myself and the minute you out those things out there they are going to come looking for you... So I am now trying not to use the negative speak with myself and I am also thinking and praying about my next dream or goal. In this year I have been able to reach so many goals for myself and I know it is possible if I don't give

Tonight I watched a great gospel documentary about Elvis. I knew he had performed a few Gospel songs but I guess I really didn't realize that he actually sang Gospel music in his free time, after shows in between filming scenes in movies and while he was growing up . I enjoy Elvis's music, but now I appreciate his talent even more seeing footage of him behind the scenes and hearing the stories told about him by those who knew him. For so long all I knew in the end is that he had played hard and died hard, but what I learned from the documentary was that he was there to perform for his fans. He was a much more spiritual man than I knew and his famous hip moves were learned by watching a member of a gospel group perform as he was growing up.  Watching this also brought to mind how we allow media to dictate what we think of celebrities and such. My co-worker and I were talking about how with the elections, that they shouldn't be allowed to have such negative campaigns. That

It's rough when you realize that you probably won't ever have a day when you won't have to take a pill to keep you happy... But I will say, it's good to know I can take them so I don't have to go back to the way I felt before... Today was rough emotionally, because as I drove to work this morning I realized I hadn't taken my meds last night. So all day I monitored my mood and didn't feel too different until I got in the car to drive home and it all came crashing down. My emotional roller coaster began. and thankfully didn't last as long as it has in the past. In fact, I am still feeling OK as I type, but I know that it is important to take my happy pills, because returning to the dark side of me, is not an option. Love, peace and it's ok to need help... Musicsongbird

Sometimes being the youngest means you have to act the oldest... For once I am not referring to my Mom. (sorry Mom)... I am referring to people I spend a lot of time with at work. When I was younger I always heard, "You will understand when you are older" or "we will tell you when you're older." Of course by the time we are older we forgot what we were supposed to know or those that said they would tell us what we needed to know, can't remember it themselves... So here is my little pearl of wisdom for the day... Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional...However, those of us that choose not to "grow up" do know how to act like adults when the time comes, or at least we should. Things like gossip and back stabbing don't do anything to the person you are talking about, but they can give you a bad reputation... Each day I am learning at little bit more about the person I want to be seen as, not the person everyone thinks I should be.