The 5oz Foodie

304... Days since surgery... 95.3... Pounds Lost after Surgery... 146... Total Pounds lost Since January 2018... 73... Percent to goal set with Nutritionist... too many to count... Things I've learned about myself along the way... You would think since losing the weight of 662 Blueberry Muffins I would know it all or be perfect all of the time and never have issues, you would be wrong. Each day is another step in my journey. Some days are great, like when a random person tells you that you look sexy and all you can say back is thank you, even though you don't ever remember being called that in your entire life and then you start to wonder, why wasn't I sexy before? Am I only sexy because I have lost the weight? Because a year ago I hated the person looking back at me and I was ready to just give up because I was never going to lose the weight on my own. There are tons of beautiful sexy big gals out there but I was never in that category. Or am I now sexy because I lik...

A new day is here and the sun rose and the birds sang and I managed get outside and enjoy the day... We went to a local Blueberry farm and picked fresh blueberries, infact we picked over 9 pounds of them... So I guess my blogging/venting really helped me last night because that wasn't all I did today... I came home and napped afterward... LOL  OK that really isn't any different than most of my weekends but when I got up I wasn'twearing my pajamas... wait a minute... it's not what you think... I wasn't wearing them when I layed down for the nap to start with... Nope, not sounding any better... OK, rewind... What is "normal" around my home is go out for Friday errands and when we come home it out of regular clothes and into pajamas... Well today, I left my regular clothes on and when the nap was over it was up and out the door for groceries and then when we returned home it wasn't into PJs and straight to the couch... Nope, I can hardly believe it myself...

Long time no write... Out of town guests and unwanted illness have invaded my life over the past month... Not that I haven't wanted to share but not had the strength from day to day sometimes...Sometimes it's physical strength and sometimes it's honestly mental.... Just making it through work and making it home when you are not feeling yourself is hard enough... So much has been happening and so much to say, but still feeling like something is holding me back... Part of it is things I can't officially share yet and part of it is I feel like I am repeating things I have written before, the same old same old... The I filled my mind and the page with promises and nowI have failed on those and now I feel like I am just spewing the same thing again about, now here I am at the beginning of a journey... Well guess what? I started to climb up the hill to better health and I got to a place where I thought I was doing ok and I hit a bump and rolled back down the hill past whe...

So very often we take our emotions and we stuff them into containers instead of facing them head on... And when those containers get too full they can't hold it any longer and they just explode... You see I have a hard time being honest with people I am close to because for to long I have held my tongue because I have felt like I have never truly felt like my opinion mattered or was valued... That I was always told simply that my thoughts weren't right and theirs was and that was that... So over time instead of voicing what I had to say I would just mash it down in my emotions container; whether it was anger or disgust or shame or sadness and just keep pushing it down and slamming the lid shut on top and hoping nothing would spill out... Tonight I learned something really important about the detriment to that... You push and shove to much of that down and at some point and time its all going to come spewing out at once like an erupting volcano and you may have to face it and ...