Day 120 of 365

Why is it that when some people get into a relationship, whether it be dating or friendship, they completely forget about what matters to themselves and they only do what they believe is important to keep the other person in their life happy. Basically, they are a people pleaser. They don't see the value in their own life and time, because they are worried if they don't do things for that other person they will lose them.

It's crazy because that is me... I have spent so many years of my life trying to make others happy, through taking time away from myself to do something for them, or spending money on them that I don't really have, all because I am afraid that if i don't do these things they won't want me around. I had stopped taking care of my well being because I didn't believe I was worth it or that I mattered. But I am finally realizing after all of this time, that I can't forget about me. I spend so much time changing my plans to accommodate others, that I run out of time for me, and guess what? Usually those people I am always doing for, rarely if ever reciprocate.

So, what is the answer, how do I fix this? I change me. I have to let myself know that it is OK to say no to others, to take that time to do for me. My mental health and well being should always be my number one priority. And by the looks of the most recent photos a friend took with me, I have allowed myself to lose focus on who and what is important.

Love, peace and time for me...
musicsongbird

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 29, 2012 at 8:43 PM

    This isn't the first post in which you've mentioned learning how to say no. It is an important quality to have, as mean as it sounds. It isn't really being mean, and anyone who is a true friend wouldn't chastise you for taking time for yourself and saying no when you really need to. Sometimes it isn't even others that you need to say no to - its simple things like a chore that can wait, or that TV show you probably would live without watching. I had to learn that too. When I feel my schedule getting too overwhelming (and its already full), I sort out the necessary tasks from the secondary ones, and find time to breathe. Once you start saying no to those kinds of things, it just gets easier from the very first step! :) YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 649...Year 2 #RememberingCory

Tonight the TV show Glee memorialized Finn Hudson, who had been played by actor Cory Montieth, until his death this summer... I was a beautiful tribute to the character of Finn... The music was incredibly heart wrenching and I'm sure I am not alone when I say that I cried from the moment Mercedes' music began until the screen went to black at the end of the episode... I admire the writers of Glee for how they handled his passing, by not putting a name to it's cause; despite everyone knowing the actual cause of Cory's death... I know the cast were following their scripts, but I believe their emotions were true... The one thing I wish they would have played was a montage of Finn's character, perhaps with "Don't Stop Believing" as the background music... That was the song that started it all for the show and I believe it is the one everyone that is a fan remembers the most... This show allowed us as fans, a true opportunity to mourn Cory's pa
Read more

A new chapter

This has been an incredible year a half since I  began my bariatric journey and it is far from over...that is why it's a journey and not a race because there really is no end. Each day is about the choices we make and how they pan out. I will be the first to say that not all of my choices are correct but I try and learn from those decisions and move forward yet there are still lessons I have to go through over and over before it clicks. One of those being my love of food. You would think that bariatric surgery fixes that but the only thing that fix anything is making a decision to be better. All surgery does is makes your stomach smaller but even that cant fix your problems. Yes I have lost a tremendous amount of weight in a short time but I also had to decide to change how I eat. Yes, my tiny tummy talks to me and tells me what does and doesnt make it happy but if I choose not to listen and listen to my cravings, yes I still have them, I pay the price over and over.... Like
Read more

Day 159 of 366

Image
So, the phonelines are down at my house so no internet but thamlfully my phone is cooperating with me. so this may come as a shock to some but I started seeing an acupuncturists last week to help me with my sinus problems. I can hear some of the critics now saying I'm going against my beliefs but I believe it takes just as much space to trust in eastern medicine as it does in western medicine, besides I believe that God led me to a place that can finally help me feel better without having to take all of those medicines all the time. since december I have been to the doctor every month at least once a month for a sinus infection, in the past week I have slept so well and I am finally breathing better. I thank God everyday for bringing this place to my attention and for allowing me to trust this was the right move for me. what I am learning from this is that when you focus on taking care of 1 party your body many times it will also help another part of your body. just like when y
Read more