Day 125 of 365

I wasn't always fat. In fact I was a skinny thing up until about the third grade, when I started emotional eating. I don't remember it real well but I do know that the older I got the more I would eat for no reason. Mom would buy me a package of cookies and I would eat the whole package in one sitting. Same thing with bags of candy. When I got older and I was driving age, taco bell, McDonalds and Burger King were just down the road. Buying a burger and throwing away the wrapper to hide the evidence was not uncommon for me. This habit has followed me into adult hood where it still haunts me at times.

Tonight we just finished eating dinner and I was full but maybe 30 minutes later I started thinking, "Is there something else I can eat?" It wasn't because I was hungry, but just because I was bored. Friday night, nothing good is on TV, my foot is causing me some pain so I don't really want to get up and go walking or get on the wii fit and mom was off in her room doing something so what else could I do right? But I didn't. So the way i see it, I looked at boredom and stared it down. I won this round. At work they have this couch to 5K challenge, and I am really thinking of taking on this challenge, but my fear of failure is really taunting me right now.

In therapy I learned that I need to make small goals for myself. I should never same something like, "I want to lose 150 pounds by next summer," because once I fall off the wagon the first time and I'm not losing weight like I think I should I start to get frustrated and then frustration leads to giving up entirely.  So I don't want to make that kind of screaming announcement.

My first goal is to lose 15 pounds in six weeks (6/15).

My first step towards reaching that goal is to stop drinking soda and sweet tea. It isn't that I drink a ton of either but they are my weakness lately. How can I live in the south and not drink sweet tea? It is completely unpatriotic of me! Sam Eagle would be ashamed. ;)

Love, peace and stay away from Pop and Sweet Tea!
Musicsongbird

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