Getting back to life...

Trying to settle in since the trip has been an adjustment... If you have never traveled overseas, it isn't just a cultural change, even though that was short, but the time change was really big for me for some reason... And now a week later I am finally feeling physically better, other than the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold... Now it's time to pay off the trip I just took all while facing holiday merriment that is coming our way in less than 2 months now...

It's crazy to think that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away and Christmas is right behind it... If I had really planned I could have taken care of Christmas while in Paris, but that would have probably required buying another suitcase to bring stuff back in, instead of a cute shoulder bar with a zipper... So now the planning begins, usually by now I have a bunch of things done but this year I just don't know if I am up for it... Emotionally, mentally, I don't know if I want to go to all the work of decorating when it is just Mom and I and the occasional rare visitor... 

I remember going through these feelings when my Dad went to heaven 19 years ago... The no desire to decorate, to just let things go and be business as usual... Maybe I will change my mind by Thanksgiving... or maybe we will just forgo the decorations... Besides, Christmas isn't about all of the decorations or the tree, it's spending time with those you love and celebrating Christ's birth...

Maybe if we spent more time focusing on each other and our gift of time and less on how much we can spend, the Holiday Season would feel different for all of us... Maybe if I focus on giving more of myself, I will find what I need to fill this gap...


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